Ash Wednesday: Matthew 1-2

Blessings, Duffy.

It is only 7:30 AM as I begin to write this, and my stomach is already grumbling! May it settle down quickly and may our fast be an easy one. 

As a non-denominational follower of Jesus, I felt free to follow the Holy Spirit's prompting and use ethically sourced sage to smudge and mark my forehead with a cross this morning. As I did so, I recited the following prayers:

"Great Spirit, I come before You with an open heart. May this sacred smoke wash over me, collecting my worries and cleansing my mind, body, and spirit. Clear any thoughts that do not serve Love. Help me walk in a sacred manner on Mother Earth."

"I mark myself with this sign of the cross as a reminder of my frailty and my connection to the Earth. As the sage returns to the soil, so too will I. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and let this Lenten journey lead me from the shadows into Your Divine Light. Amen."

Turning to our reading in the first two chapters of Matthew, and to N.T. Wright's focus on Matthew 1:18-25, I am struck by three key points.

First, we see that God calls Joseph to stay with Mary even though the marriage was arguably forbidden by the Torah.

Second, we see that Mary is pregnant with Jesus.

Third, we see that Joseph waits until Mary gives birth to Jesus before he has sexual relations with her.

All of this strongly calls to mind 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, where we read that a believing husband should remain with an unbelieving wife if she wants to remain in the relationship and is willing to tolerate his faith in Jesus, for it is in this way that the wife is sanctified, and their children are made holy, and maybe even the wife will one day be saved. In a sense, Paul seems to be suggesting that the unbelieving wife may eventually become "pregnant," by the grace of God, with her own faith in Jesus.

We also read, in 1 Corinthians 7:5, that sexual abstinence within marriage should only be for prayer, and by mutual consent: 

"Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control."

Speaking from a non-denominational perspective, it seems to me that some contemporary Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships may qualify as marriages in the eyes of God, even if they are not formal marriages according to state law, or according to the requirements of a particular denomination. But this takes careful discernment. 

Consider this Prayer of Covenant and Healing for a non-legal union:  

"Gracious and Merciful God, we come before You as two people who carry the weight and the wisdom of our histories. You know the wounds we bear from past unions, and You know the places where our hearts have been bruised - even by the institutions intended to represent You.

We thank You for the grace that brought us together in this season of our lives. We do not seek the titles of this world, nor do we ask for a status defined by law or tradition. Instead, we seek Your blessing on the truth of our hearts.

We ask that You recognize the covenant we make today: to be for one another a source of healing instead of hurt, and peace instead of turmoil. Though we maintain our separate homes, we ask You to knit our spirits into one flesh, that we may care for each other in every infirmity, support each other in every struggle, and celebrate each other in every joy.

May this bond be a sanctuary - a place where our past brokenness is transformed into a shared strength. Lord, bless our coming and our going, and may our love be a quiet, faithful witness to Your restorative mercy. Amen."

Do you think Jesus could bless a union like this?

Some of our family members may not understand our Lenten retreat, Duffy. It may seem like we are going too far. Let's resolve to see our journey through, but not to become overly zealous or rigid during this year's penitential season before the renewal of Eastertide and the long weeks of Ordinary Time. We want the living Christ - not ossified church forms - to lead us in the Way. 

"He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:6 (NIV)